If They Could Read What We Write
by RachelDalloway
Summary: What if, somehow, a few of the Titanic characters got their hands on a laptop and discovered fanfiction?


AN: This is purely the product of my imagination. Any resemblance to fanfics written or unwritten is purely coincidental.

Jack eyed the black rectangle in front of him suspiciously. "What is it?" Rose shrugged. "I have no idea." She bent down to examine it more carefully. "I think it.." She reached out and opened the laptop. They stared in awe at the glowing screen. The words ". Category: Titanic" flashed across it. "I've never seen anything like it before," Jack murmured. "Me either."

He tentatively ran his fingertip across the mousepad, jumping back when the cursor moved. "Did I make that happen?" "I think you did. Try again!" Rose urged. He touched it again. The cursor moved again. "Wow..." He guided the cursor over to a series of blue letters. "'Love Conquers All'" he read. "Jack doesn't die! And he and Rose head off for their life together, but some unexpected problems follow them."

"Is that about us?" Rose gasped.

"What is this 'Jack doesn't die'? Does this mean I die?" He said, sounding slightly nervous. Rose hugged him. "You're not going to die," she said firmly.

"Oh really?" They whirled around to see Cal standing behind them, brandishing a gun. His expression shifted from furious to curious. "What's that?" he asked, using the gun to point at the laptop. Jack shoved Rose behind him. Her wide, terrified eyes peered over his shoulder. "What's wrong with you two-" He realized he was gesturing with a pistol in his hand. "Oh. Um.." Curiosity or revenge? He lowered the gun. "Can I see what you're looking at?"

_45 mintues later_

"I don't want to read that one!" Cal snapped. "It's all about how happy you two become! I'm sick of that!"

"Too bad! Because we're reading that one!" Jack clicked on the story title and waited for the page to load. Cal scowled. "This is unfair." Rose gave him a disgusted look. "_You_ think something's unfair?" "All I seem to get is unfairness," Cal said, miffed. "Misery, humilation-" He caught sight of the words on the screen. "I am not a raving madman!"

"Could have fooled me," Jack muttered.

"I'm not! I have anger issues, sure, but pursuing you two for years, hellbent on destroying you? Not likely. I have a life too, you know."

"Not according to this," Rose said. "'Cal paced his study. It had been 10 years since the sinking. 10 years since his life had ended," she read. Jack laughed. "Wait, there's more," she said. "'The only woman he'd ever loved was gone, ripped cruelly away from him-' Hey, what the hell?" she exclaimed. "You don't love me! And I _left_ you! There was no ripping away cruelly!"

"I do so love you," Cal protested.

"Attempting to murder the woman you love is on the Top Ten List of Ultimate Romantic Gestures," Jack said. "I don't know why I didn't try it myself."

"I like you a lot?" Cal offered. "Under different circumstances we could have been friends?"

Rose shook her head. "There aren't enough C/R shippers out there to make that a worthwhile discussion."

"I want to sleep with you?"

Jack stepped forward, prepared to hit him. "You try it!"

"There are defintiely not enough people who want to see that happen," Rose said. She laid a hand on Jack's arm. "It's okay," she said soothingly. He lowered his fist. "We've only seen three C/R stories out of three million J/R stories." His body relaxed. "That's true."

"Those three people were the only ones who knew what they were talking about," Cal said. Jack tensed, ready to spring. Rose sighed. "Let's just read another one." She clicked on another title. "'Rated M'," she read. "Wonder what that means..."

"My eyes!" Cal screamed, covering his face. "Get it off the screen! Get it off the screen!"

"Huh." Jack stared at the words. "Yeah," Rose said. "So that's what rated M means." "Very uh...creative," he said. "It is," she agreed. He glanced over at her. Her eyes met his. They dashed toward the door, nearly knocking Cal over as they went. He fell forward, catching himself on the table, his face just inches from the screen. "It burns!" he screamed. He frantically tried to close the page, but to no avail. The computer had frozen.


End file.
